Let’s be honest: we have all lied at one time or another for one a number of reasons. Lying is a natural impulse. Whether it be an innocent act in order to spare someone’s feelings, to hide the truth about yourself, to hide shame, or even for the evil and unsavory purpose of manipulating others, these motivational differences are what I’d like to discuss with you today.
First, let me just share with you, dear reader, that I tend a bit to be on the “too honest” side. I find that I have to hold myself back, on many occasions, in order to not hurt the feelings of others.When someone asks my opinion, I feel compelled to be very truthful in how I feel about the subject. In being this way, I therefore expect the same honest responses from others.
There are times when I’d rather not know the truth and will avoid the conversation all together, knowing that the truth may leave me feeling badly. If I am feeling badly with the truth then I feel compelled to fix it and sometimes the methods are not pretty. I also take great offense to those I find are blatantly lying to me. I feel as though it is a complete insult to my intelligence, as should you. For the liar believes you to be naive enough to believe them.
White lies, as we refer to them, happen frequently. We all go around committing this act without a second thought. Some times, we may even feel that we are doing the recipient a favor by not being truthful. These are usually as incidental as telling your friend that they look nice in that dress or wishing someone you really do not care for a nice day.
And then, there are the lies we tell disguised as excuses. Excuses are told as to not suffer the consequences of your offense. For example: your explanation as to why you were late, why you forgot someone’s birthday, or why you did not eat that last piece of cake, just to name a few. These excuses act as an innate protection mechanism shielding us from public as well as private shame. You see, we are not immune to giving the same excuses to ourselves in order to feel good about things. All the same, excuses are just that: excuses. There is no resolution in them. They do nothing but hold you back in your forward journey.
During your life’s journey, you will find yourself involved with those who you cannot trust. You cannot trust these individual because you know quite well that whatever comes out of their mouth is going to be a lie, no matter what it is. They, for some reason, will not surround themselves with truth. They are most comfortable living their entire lives wrapped in one big lie after another. Therefore, their sense of reality is warped. You should, in turn, have not time for them.
One of the most difficult and negative emotional wounds suffered because of lying happens when you come to the realization that you have been mislead, in a big way, by someone of great closeness. This, dear reader, presents itself to you as betrayal. You may feel as though you’ve been a fool. You may also experience self doubt about how you read others. You may not be able to trust this person again. Depending on the depth of the betrayal, and the character of the offending individual, you may choose to either forgive them or move on forward without them. Every situation has it’s own complexities and they all must be acknowledged in order to come to a satisfactory and peaceful conclusion.
In conclusion, I would like to wish for all of you clearer vision/insight in order to detect the liars around you and the ability/strength to not let yourself get sucked into their cluster. No one can be immune to all their tactics but if you view the world with a more discerning perspective, this would be helpful. And to those of you who find yourselves with no other choice but to constantly lie, please look within and figure out your motivators for doing so. You must accomplish deep personal change in order to travel this earth in a more honest, loving, and peaceful way.
One last note: I would be remiss if I did not mention half-truths. For half-truths in themselves are missing the other half which in essence are lies. Be wary my dear readers, for these can be very subliminal in nature, but still as full on harmful as if a blatant lie has been told.
I close this post honestly, with much love and affection for all….. Peace!
After hearing ( and seeing) today’s verdict of “not guilty” in the Casey Anthony trial today and walking around initially feeling full of angst, anger and dismay because of it, I decided to take a step back and reevaluate the situation. In doing so, I thought that this would be a great opportunity to speak to the justice we feel entitled to, on a personal level, when we are the victims of personal and emotional crimes committed by those around us.
In other words, we have all felt, amongst a myriad of circumstances, at one time or another, taken advantage of, lied to, defamed, etc. These personal affronts to our being, leave us feeling a need to avenge the perpetrator, whether justified or not. We feel that we cannot have closure unless we can get whoever “back” for doing us wrong. These are all normal initial responses of self righteousness and justice. Acting upon them can be quite risky and in some instances, may leave us feeling worse about our situation rather than better. The satisfaction factor we expect may leave us unfulfilled and empty instead of victorious and proud.
If the opportunity to confront such bad behavior of another does not present itself to you, you may feel cheated out of justice. You may also feel cheated, in the same way, if you do not see the negative consequences of their abhorrent behavior struck upon them, in what you deem a timely and severe enough manner.
Life is funny in many ways. One of them being, in the way in which people who behave badly get “paid back”. You see, dear reader, justice knows no time. Justice knows no limits. Justice follows an evil soul through out eternity. On occasion, we are allowed to see or hear about the just rewards handed back to the offenders.
There are also times in which we do not have this privilege, this satisfaction, this triumph over evil. We must know this, in order to accept the fact, that all will be justified in the face of honor and balance, even if we do not have the opportunity to serve the sweet justice ourselves. That it will be done, at some point in time, whether in this life or the next.
We should also realize that people have to feel horrible about themselves in the first place, in order to be horrible to others. Which confirms the fact that their daily lives are not happy and peaceful ones. Their souls do not smile, they frown. Their hearts are not open, they’re closed. Their eyes do not see the beauty in others, only the pain and suffering that reflects back to them in the mirror, every single day they walk this earth.
Time, as we know it, truly does help heal all wounds and there is comfort in knowing that you do not have to be there to see sweet justice served. Just know, dear reader, that it will be done. It is the way in which the universe keeps itself in balance. It’s the way in which you must feel in order to move forward with a sense of peace. This is a difficult task, I know, but I also know that the balance of life holds true.