You deserve to be loved and accepted. You deserve to have those around you who give you comfort. You deserve to be respected.
I’m still in the midst of this give and take phase. I know my children will thrive and most probably turn out to be fine, but I only hope that I will survive this particular journey.
You see, dear read, I’m quite attached to my children as I’m sure many of you are, and the thought of them not being here with me always, is hard for me to wrap my thoughts around. I know reality will kick in soon enough and the fruits of my child rearing labor will ultimately come to fruition.
And yes, logic tells me that this is what is supposed to happen, and that the Universe will be better off as a whole for it. I guess that last thought is what gives me peace of mind. The knowing that they will be contributing great kindness, love and empathy to all that they encounter, throughout their lives.
And in this, I will know full and true pride.
Since my last, full blown post on the 27th of July, I have been a bit distracted and therefore have not made one since. In the mean time, I’ve been publishing short posts (Quotes & ‘Thoughtful Thoughts’), for you, dear reader, in order not to be neglectful.
For me, when stressed, my body and mind are out of sync. Therefore, not only is my sleep disturbed, but my creativity and appetite are also suppressed. I do not like feeling like this. It’s as though my inspiration is being thwarted in it’s ability to flow through me.
The funny thing is though, as I look back at my short blog posts, I realized that inspiration has been coming to me, just in small unrecognizable doses. Hence, the Quotes and ‘Thoughtful Thoughts’.
Once I realized this, I have felt the creative juices flowing more freely and have started a couple of fun house projects that I have been putting off. And guess what? I am now writing this blog post!
I am quite sure that I am not the only one who feels the drought of lack of inspiration and creativity when under stress. My intention for this particular post is not only to empathize with you in this state but to also share with you the bit of awareness that I have just realized.
The fact that I felt uninspired was misleading, in a sense. For there where signs all around me, but my eyes/heart/soul could not see them from the angle in which I was viewing them. Once I stepped back a bit and changed my perspective ever so slightly, there it was, ready and waiting.
I am not whole unless I am able to be creative. I have an incessant need to put forth inspiration. Whether it be for just myself or for those around me, or for you, dear reader. As a matter of fact, my entire blog is intended to inspire a peace of mind through harmony and balance, given to you through my own life experiences. And in return, I am enriched by this life’s journey/circle in reaching out to you.
Distractions can be so very cumbersome when trying to be creative. You find that your mind/thoughts are not clear and your vision clouded by anxiety and fear. It is most difficult to focus and allow the good things/thoughts in. My only advice is, give it time and be patient with yourself. Step back and take a different look when ready. Do not feel guilty or neglectful about this. It’s a process, just like any other journey.
You must take deep breaths in order to fully exhale. Be creative, be happy, be your true self in love and light and there you will find peace of mind.
|(me and my daughter)|
To tell you the truth, I was not as close to my mom growing up as I would have liked. It wasn’t util I left the house (at 18) that we became close. So close, in fact, that I just about worship her and all that she is to me. She is my heart, my home, my very best friend; and I’d be lost without her love in my life.
The moment I gave birth to my very own daughter, I knew that I did not want the same childhood relationship between mother and daughter that I had had. I vowed to make it better and right with her. In this process, she and I would become stronger, happier, and extremely bonded. It seemed as though, instinctually, I just knew what not to do as well as what to do. I have always been quite empathetic when raising my children, so putting myself back into my daughter’s little shoes (and bigger ones as she’s grown), I was able to relive, reconcile, and nurture her in the way in which I felt a mother’s loving guidance should be. I am happy to say that she and I have a beautiful relationship, and I look forward to what the future brings between the two of us.
I share these words with you, dear reader, because of the many women that I see who suffer from resentful and dysfunction emotions associated with their relationships with either their mothers, daughters, or sometimes even both.
You see, the mother-daughter journey is a very complicated and intense life experience. So much so, that there have been numerous books and talk show “chats” about this very subject. My intention in today’s post is to put things in simpler and more hopeful terms.
I’d like to convey to you, dear reader, some points in the following numbered statements:
1. No one’s relationship with another is perfect. They are all flawed in one way or another. This is how it is and should be (we are here to learn). Do not feel as though you have to achieve perfection on this level.
2. Everyone has an innate desire for parental approval even though they may not admit it.
3. Women emulate their mother’s behavior, good and bad. It is for you to choose the better and deal with the bad by separating yourself from it.
4. If your mother comes from a childhood full of chaos and/or disapproval, she may not have ever had the emotional capacity needed to raise you with the love, affection, and acceptance that you required. Also,she may never admit to or validate your feelings toward her. This has nothing to do with your worthiness.
5. We are all entitled to love and cannot thrive without it.
6. With your own daughter, never ever over compensate for your own mother’s shortcomings. This will not bring you closer. It will only perpetuate your ill feelings toward your mom and in turn, breed new ones within your own daughter.
7. If you have the opportunity to confront your mother and she is willing to mend your relationship and move forward, then you are blessed. On the other hand, if your mother is no longer with you or she is not open to having a conversation, then you must move on in the acceptance of this fact. You will not be able to change the damage that has already been done. You can only look to the future by letting go.
8. You do have the power to choose a better and brighter life for yourself and your own daughter.
9. You do have the power to move forward with love for yourself and be a positive influence to your daughter.
10. You do have the power to not allow anyone to be neglectful and indifferent toward you, especially your mother.
11. A good relationship between mother and daughter is not a given for anyone. It is a blessing to be appreciated and cherished.
12. You are the link between what your mother was to what your daughter will become.
Remember, it was your mother’s responsibility to raise you, not the other way around. If there is still hope in your relationship, you may be able to help guide her and yourself to a more respectful and loving relationship. Within honestly and openness, you may be able to mend the broken fences and, in turn, breath new life into your outlook. Also, you may then have peace of mind when it comes to your relationships with all the other women in your life.
Be a good mother. Be a good daughter. Be blessed, for you are what love is…….
Our ‘furry friends’, our little bundles of love and affection, or our family pets. These awesome “relatives” are the most uncomplicated and vulnerable members of our family. They require only food, water, shelter, and a safe place to sleep. In return, they give to us all the unconditional love and affection they have to offer, as though it was their purpose to make us happy and to feel needed. They seem to be in constant “show of appreciation” mode.
Pictured above are me and our dog Skippy, aka Skippy Doodles, taken last summer. He is my shadow, my little buddy. Yes, he can be tiresome sometimes with his in and out and in and out needs and an “accident” here or there; but really, that’s about it. I never have to look far to find someone around to make me feel like I am the most important person alive. It is as though how I feel matters to him. To some, this may sound a bit odd, I know, but this is the vibe he presents to me all the time.Of course, he is treasured by everyone in our household. We are blessed to have him as part of our family.
If you have a pet already, I’m sure you can relate to these feelings of affection toward your furry family member also. If not, and you are open to the idea, I would suggest adopting one of these loving creatures for yourself. To know the love of a pet is quite different from any other love relationship you may have had. This unconditional love enriches your life in many ways, some of which include: a friendship/companionship more loyal than most, a complete desire for your happiness, and the gift of approval on a daily basis. Also, there is a stress relieving factor that pets seem to exude over humans as well as a healing component for the ill.
I suggest this special relationship to you in order to enrich and diversify the love around you. The gift of a family to a pet, especially to one who is in great need of a home, is a most beautiful act of kindness on your part; and in return, you will be repaid tenfold by your new family member for years to come.